Congratulations and welcome to the world of the QBofE!
Who am I and what am I going to do for you? Well I’m Kat Smith, aka Queen Bitch of Everything or QBofE for short (more about why they call me that later). And in these pages I am going to take you on a ride that will at the very least make you uncomfortable and at best blow your mind completely. I promise to share concepts and ideas with you that will work in your business, and not just good stuff, but the bad stuff, the ugly stuff, and everything in between. It will be your job to make sure you understand the concepts and put them into place to ensure your business success.
When you do put what you’ve learnt into practice, you will make more money with less work, less hassle and fewer headaches.
The thing is I have been in your shoes and I know what you are feeling now is frustration. You know there is something more out there, something that will give you the opportunity to make more money ethically, morally and legally. But the process of ‘how to’ is eluding you. I know you will get multiple emails or phone calls from so-called ‘marketers’ who want you to subscribe to their one-best way, and you may have been tempted by that in the past. You were given the ‘what you should do’ and the ‘why you should do’ but not the ‘how to’ steps that actually make the money (you may have been also sold snake oil, unicorn farts and dragon jizz from unscrupulous fucktrumpets who are rife in my industry, but with what you learn from my 33 Ideas and beyond, that will stop).
I’ve been there and I know there is more to growing your business than engaging your clients on social media – a whole lot more. And a whole lot more that actually works. There will be some ideas that you can use to make money and you will see results straight away. For others you will need to take time to implement, test, measure and tweak before you see results. I will give you the processes of exactly how to do it so you are not just throwing shit at the wall and hoping some of it sticks.
Everything I’ve included in my 33 Ideas to Growing Your Salon Fast email series has been tried and tested and proven by me and my contemporaries over the years, in both boom- and bust-economies. For just over six years I owned a 6-chair hairdressing salon in the heart of Notting Hill, London, UK. I had a business partner, Terry, who was the brawn of the operation, running the day-to-day business and being on the floor. I was the brains. I am not a hairdresser by the way, I leave that to the experts. But the thing I did do, was use everything I am about to share with you, and took that business from a failing salon making a loss of £9K a year when I bought it (in a recession I might add), to a successful, busy salon making £77K in pre-tax profit in the 6th year. There was no magic, just hard work and implementation of these strategies.That’s a story in itself, and one to keep you right on the edge of your seat as it unfolds. It’s been a wild time, but a fun one, as you’re going to see for yourself as we get to know each other. In the meantime, buckle up, let go of the sides, and enjoy the ride.
But will it work for you? There is no reason to trust me or take my word for any of this. There are many charlatans out there who talk a good talk, but the people I allow into my Inner Circle are getting results by doing exactly what I share. And the results they are getting are staggering. But I am not trying to get you to join, we don’t know each other yet, and it’s by invitation only so I’m not even going to share the URL with you now. What I want you to do is read what I have to share and test it for yourself. Don’t be another spoon-fed moron who just goes along with things for an easy life. Be sceptical and cynical about what I tell you, examine everything with critical thinking skills and then test it for yourself in your own business. Then you can tell me if anything I have said in this book is incorrect. Not wrong, mind. I am happy to be corrected with the actual truth. The ideas I share with you will grow your profits substantially, change your business and your life. But only if you take action.
There is no magic spell, no silver bullet, no ‘one-thing’ that is going to change your business overnight. It will take work and success and fails and if you believe otherwise stop here.
Oh why the Queen Bitch of Everything?
Because I am.
Well in a salon filled with ‘queens’ I had to position myself as the true Queen.
Absolutely, but only because I demand excellence. And I refuse to be responsible for other people’s problems, like my own company, and am very straight talking. Why this gets people going I have no idea. But as an atheist libertarian I chose my own path and that means I march to a drum of not causing physical harm to people 0r their property or defrauding them, not because I am threatened by an afterlife of eternal damnation, but because that is what you should do as a human. I’ve been called intimidating but if that is what you find offensive then that says more about your emotional response to your own beliefs than my actions.
I’m a polymath, one of those annoying people who knows something about everything, mostly because I like to know how things work and why.
Some notes to clear things up at the start:
1. The information contained in the 33 Ideas email sequence is for growing your salon fast. And by salon I mean any type of salon – hair, beauty, spa, or any combination. In fact you can take all of these ideas and the strategies within them and apply it to any business. Any business at all. All businesses run along the same principles. The thing is I owned a hairdressing salon with Terry for 7 years and that’s where I take my real life examples from. If you have a beauty salon without hairdressing and I say ‘hair’ substitute, ‘nails’ or ‘skin’ or whatever is relevant to you. If I say ‘blowdries’ substitute ‘manicure’ or ‘facials’ etc. If you sell farming equipment and you have picked up this book because you thought the cover was sexy, you have good taste, but substitute ‘hair’ for ‘tractor’ or whatever your implement of choice. You get the picture. DO NOT write to me and say that hair salons are different from beauty salons when it comes to marketing, they are not.
2. The beauty of the English language is that it is complex and has many exceptions to rules, but it also has no gender-neutral third-person singular pronouns. I’m generally lazy and think the ‘he/she’ debate is bullshit, so I’ve used just ‘he’ or ‘she’ throughout. They are interchangeable so you do the work, and no point being offended, I really don’t care.
3. I swear a lot.. I don’t know whether that’s coming from a country that swears on radio and TV and one of it’s famous TV ads is just the word ‘bugger’ repeated over and over. Or whether it’s because I now live in a country where you can potentially be arrested for swearing and me being perverse makes me want to swear more. Regardless, many swear words drop like sweet raindrops into my conversations and as I write like I speak, they have ended up in this book. Again do not write to me and say you are offended by my language, I really don’t care. And you’ll end up being mocked to my list and make yourself look stupid.
4. I’m not interested in your ‘feedback’. Your unsolicited opinion about how I run my business or how I communicated is just that: unsolicited and just your opinion. Don’t bother sending me it unless I have written something objectively incorrect. Your opinion is irrelevant. Opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one but noone wants one waved around in their face. If you want more validation on how your feedback is irrelevant, Howard Stern puts it nicely for me in his audio clip
5. Any mistakes, proof errors and grammar I make are mine, entirely.
More About Me and My Work
I currently have no availability on my private client list. If you wish to enquire about my availability to work on your projects, please use one of the methods below and clearly state your name and contact details (fax or email only), and give an outline of your business, as well as a brief paragraph saying how you think I can help you.
Please don’t embarrass yourself and annoy me by offering an “equity stake” or a “share of future profits” in return for my help and advice on your “guaranteed winner”. It might come as a surprise for you to learn this is not a new idea, and it’s about as appealing to me as a cup of cold dog vomit. If you don’t have the cash to pay my fees plus an ongoing royalty on the materials I create for you, then you don’t qualify to work with me.
If your needs are less onerous you may qualify for a one-hour telephone consulting session. I also have a very limited number of one-off consulting days available, and I am available for appropriate speaking engagements and interviews. Please contact me for availability.
Other than that, the best piece of advice I can offer you is to help yourself to my free 33 Ideas to Grow Your Salon Fast email series. It’s the quickest, easiest, and cheapest way to discover if you’re gonna get along with me.
How to Get in Touch With Me
You can get in touch with me by any one of these methods:
Please note: I do not accept incoming telephone calls without appointment.